His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
