PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
