just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
operation harelip BJ is a go
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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