Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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