I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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