I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
