Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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