do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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