I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Redeem this text for a blowjob
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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