Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
