she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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