All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
