I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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