It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
