do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
