I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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