Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
