Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
