If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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