White coat. Heels.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Randomize
