i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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