Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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