I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barsexuality is the new black.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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