My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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