summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
