my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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