he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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