So drunk its hurt
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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