The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
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This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Mom said you looked used
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
tell me about the eggs
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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