i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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