Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
