god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
