Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
