Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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