Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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