I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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