so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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