I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Green mimosas i think yes
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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