do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
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She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
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It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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