He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
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Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
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I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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