found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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