it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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