I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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