wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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