I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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