Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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