I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize