I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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