I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
