Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize