I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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