I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize