zippers are such a cool invention
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Your penis caused this!
Randomize