it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
