So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
