i was born a porn star she said
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Alive.
So much puke
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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