all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
