I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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